“10 B!tches & a Stage,” Dallas

Ladies, gentlemen, and everybody along the spectrum in between: grab your hooch, grab your booze, or whatever leafy twig it is that’s your poison of choice tonight and show up to “10 B!tches and a Stage!”

Exhausted from a crazy week of four papers, a sorority winter formal, a hangover, and – worst of all – the surprisingly foreign feeling of a lull before further deadlines, I was only too happy to accept my friend Olivia Schmid’s invitation to an intriguingly odd sounding event by SMU Student Theater (SMUST) called “10 B!tches and a Stage.”

“It’s the event of the year. It’s literally my favorite thing,” she gushed as we ran (literally ran, because it should be zero surprise to anyone that I was a few measly minutes late) to SMU Meadows’ basement theatre at 10pm on this very chilly night.

A crowd buzzed with energy…and the faintest wafting scent of MarijuJoseph as we thanked our stars that Christmas holidays are almost here. The basement theatre doors flung open, the ushers adorned us with whimsical nametags, and we each clamored to find seats moments before the spotlight struck the first actor who dove right into this artful piece:

“Tis the week before finals,

Students filled up with rage,

Lost and not knowing,

They wander onto a stage.

All of them sexy,

All of them funny,

And to see them you won’t even have to pay money.

They will perform,

Probably have you needing stitches,

That’s right kids, tis time –

TIME FOR 10 B!TCHES!”

The riotous show was unlike anything I’d been to before: ten senior theatre performing arts students (and a dance major too I believe) prepared/improvised a selection of thirty skits of varying lengths and emotions, but left it up to their audience to scream – and by that I mean scream, squabble, shriek, cry, maim – whatever it took to get the number of their choice of skit chosen to be the next one performed out of the fast paced show. Acts ranged from “Kim Kardashian: Westeros” to “Origins of Drunk Uncle” and even to “The Girl who can’t hold her Politics.” Other ones that left me clinging onto Olivia as tears from laughing so hard rolled down my cheeks included “Baby It’s Cold Outside,” “Guy Who Dabs Inappropriately,” and “Toddlers and Tiaras.” But the scriptwriters also showed their college level intellect with poignant takes on the role of a father in “Pedestal,” the status of gender and race in society in “Privilege Suit,” and the continuing enforcement of traditional gender roles in “His & Hers Deodorant.”

I would not miss this show for the world: brave the cold, take that study break you’ve been promising yourself, and go laugh till you cry, and scream till your throat hurts at this crazy, hilarious, and unforgettable show. We’re all about to go into final exam week, many of us are about to say goodbye to friends graduating in two weeks, and we’ve all got to leave this mad campus and our ridiculously over-packed schedules for five weeks of godsend – fine, Mom-send, home-cooked meals and relaxation (unless you’re one of my friends studying for the MCAT. Sorry Dr. Friends.)

The second and final show of “10 B!tches and a Stage” is tomorrow night at 10pm at the Owens Fine Arts Center, Basement Level, Room 450. Don’t miss the talented b!tches in this talented cast!

P.S. Wanna know what your bitchiness percentage is? As always, Buzzfeed knows your soul: What is Your B*tch Percentage?